What Being a Christian Is Like as a Type 4
I used to think personality tests were so silly. God made me uniquely ... there was no way I could be boxed into a type. Then I read a description for Enneagram 4’s. I related to it in many ways* including the part that said “believes they are special and unique.” 😂 “Oh,” I thought to myself. “Doesn’t everyone think that?” Of course I think Enneagram 4’s are amazing but I can also see our challenges (apparently another 4 trait!). We love deeply but also hurt deeply. We can be quick to anger but also quick to forgive. We are self-aware and sensitive (to ourselves and others) but can let that effect our moods too much. Before reading about this type, I struggled to understand how I could change my emotionality as it just seemed to be a huge part of who I was. It hurt when people told me to “calm down” or not be “so sensitive” ... I could understand their perspective but a) I recoiled at the thought of not being myself (yet another a 4 trait!) and b) didn’t know how to change even if I wanted to.
Reading Joyce Meyer’s Battlefield of the Mind was a huge eye opener for me. You mean not all of my thoughts were from me? The enemy could put thoughts in my mind to try and manipulate me emotionally?? Whoa. Today I’m reminded of how that relates to Philippians 4:8: “...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is praiseworthy - think about such things.” I’m learning to recognize when unfruitful thoughts come in, rebuke them, and choose focus on good things instead. It helps to prevent long stints in the world of melancholy. But the truth is that sometimes emotions can still overwhelm me and I “need” a bit of time to feel before letting go. Today I could have chosen to take a thought captive, pray and set it free but chose to dwell and “feel” instead. Not the best choice, especially right before lunch with my extended family! I may not have passed this test today but I know there will be another one ahead.
I pray I continue to learn how to live out my God-given design well. It was a bit hard to translate my thoughts on Type 4 into an image but, in line with the verse, I wanted to focus on the strengths. I don’t think we need to dwell on our weaknesses ... God knows and will help us sort them out. In the meantime, we can praise him by appreciating our God-given design. 🙏
Any other Enneagram 4’s out there...? Would love to know what you’ve learned about living out your faith in your uniquely 4 style! ☺️
*Many but not all ways. I think growing up in church meant I was fed a steady stream of truths (God fully satisfies, God’s intention is not for us to suffer, don’t envy, etc) so I don’t relate as deeply to the tragic aspects. Or maybe I just want to reject these descriptions as I know they are not God’s will for me. Would be curious to see what other Christian 4’s think ( / feel ;) about this.