Why I Chose God as My Birthday Date This Year
Most years, I want to celebrate my birthday hard. Honestly I even like celebrating my half birthday haha.
But this year was different.
I truly, genuinely just wanted to spend it with God. Tomorrow I will celebrate with friends but today I wanted to CHOOSE GOD first.
Because I never have on my birthday before.
You know how excited we can get at the thought of spending a whole day with someone we love - especially someone we’re just falling in love with? That’s the excitement I wanted. To have a chance to fan the flames of my love for God after finally realising that no fancy dinner, no present, no special trip (not that these things are bad!) ever comes close to the joy of just being in his presence.
So I waited expectantly for God to pour out his love on me today.
I thought he would tangibly stir my heart and give me lots of specific words about my future. Honestly I thought he would smother me with his love, answer some prayers, and just make me feel really happy.
But uh… instead I felt God ask me to submit my will to his. During my prayer / journalling session this morning, an old favourite worship song came to mind.
*Your will above all else / My purpose remains / The art of losing myself / In bringing You praise (From The Inside Out - Hillsong)
And then later in the day, I felt him nudge me to do something that made absolutely zero sense. But… the last time he asked me to do something similar, I ignored multiple (!!!) reminders before he eventually stopped and I had to deal with / repent of my disobedience. So I wrote it down and thought maybe I’d do it tomorrow. It’s my birthday after all, I just wanted to be loved.
But… time passed and I wasn’t “feeling” any more loved.
Instead the reminder came again! So, very confused, I pouted (Did God really say that… again?), got in bed and… began to read The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind by @billjohnsonministries. And these words stuck out.
“But understanding is not required for obedience. A normal Christian is one who obeys the revelations and promptings of the Holy Spirit without understanding.”
Well. That stirred me up. I did the thing that I thought made no sense and just gave it to God.
All of a sudden feeling drained, I went on Facebook, scrolled and saw @kvministries had posted an article titled “Does God ever supersede our will in providential times?”
What a topic. I clicked, started reading and, again, God’s message rang out loud and clear:
“…God is moving in the midst of it all, and it’s vital we learn to move with Him even when we don’t understand.”
OK, God. I hear you.
Sometimes when our lives are going well, we can get comfortable. We start to assume God will move in certain ways, like he has before. But God isn’t a cookie cutter kind of God. He wants to grow us, stretch us, shape us according to his will. We might not get the shaping process or understand what the final design will be but we can know that we know God. And he has already won the war.
So as I go to bed, I realise that I received some words for my future after all. It wasn’t what I expected, I’m not 100% sure what to make of it, but I know I can trust God. Feeling excited to grow deeper with him in this year ahead… and beyond. ❤️