Encouragement for Single Ladies (From a Millennial Man)

Our church is midway through our annual 21-day fast and it’s been really interesting. I’ve written about this a bit on Instagram but one of the things God’s told me is that I’ll go deeper with him this year but it won’t look like last year … to not put a limit on how he works or what he can do. Last year, I grew closer to God than ever before so perhaps subconsciously wanted to replicate that. But OK God! So far I’ve noticed that I’ve gotten more impressions than ever before (usually it’s the still small voice and pictures / visions) … and repeated words.

Yesterday the repeated word was TRUST.

As I prayed about various things, I felt God saying the following:

• I know it’s been hard waiting, trusting, hoping but look how you have grown! Trust I will honour your heart.

• Do you love me? Do you trust me? Then obey what I’ve told you. Trust my will will be done.

• Trust I am good. Trust I have good plans for your future. Hold onto your prophecies and have joy working hard. Trust me to bring the right people, opportunities, experiences, challenges in my perfect timing. Trust me.

• Your husband, marriage, kids will add to your joy. I don’t want worry, fear, sadness, insecurity, sin to taint your happiness. Trust I am protecting you right now. Trust I have something beautiful planned for your marriage and family life. Trust that I love you.

All this in one early morning prayer session!

God is so good like that. He’s so patient. When we really need to get the message, he will repeat it until it sinks in.

Marriage is pretty up there on the list of things I’m praying about. But not in a solution to loneliness way. I mean yes it would be nice to have a fun life partner but more than ever before I’m praying for someone that has the same vision and passion for serving God. Even in the church lots of people say things like a godly man is hard to find, not to be picky etc. etc. but I refuse to accept that. God knows what he’s doing. It’s not in his nature to ask us to settle or to give us second best.

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Philippians 4:6)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Romans 15:13)

We can trust that and in continuing to pray, ask, seek, listen, I believe he’s leading us closer into his plan one day at a time. But sometimes waiting is tough and during these times it’s such a blessing to have godly encouragement.

A few years ago, my friend Kingston (from church and small group) wrote me the kindest, most encouraging message. I was reminded of this yesterday as the central theme of the message was also … you guessed it. Trust.

I think you know this, but as a brother in Christ I want to affirm that you are a gem, and that you should never have to feel worried about not having your value seen by a guy. Although we hear repeatedly that God is in control and that He will meet our needs, it’s hard to fully trust when it might not seem like that things are going that way on the surface. I truly believe He will work things for your good in His time in the area of romance; he knows your heart and knows your fears. He’s forming your character and challenging you which is tough, but He also has a plan when it comes to the right guy. So you can trust that, and in turn trust Him. You don’t have to worry that there’s something wrong with you because there’s really not, I promise. I know you know, but I think you need to hear it to know it more. Being patient is so hard (trust me, I know), but there’s a reason for this wait, as annoying as it is sometimes. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised when you’re at the other end.

So you really can relax. No need to recoil or panic at the prospect of rejection, because that person you’re going to be with is already known by God to be your husband. So who actually cares if nothing works out with Tom, Dick or Harry, if none of them are actually meant to be your husband. The only thing that might be hurt is pride, but pride could always do with getting put down anyway. At the end of the road, the only guy whose opinion matters is the guy that you’re going to be with, and your feelings for him will outweigh the feelings you’ve had for anyone else in the past. So don’t fear rejection and don’t worry about risk, because there’s literally nothing to lose, as any guy it doesn’t work out with would never have been yours to lose anyway. *The one* who is yours is already yours in God’s plan, which was made in eternity past... so even if your husband isn’t known to you right this moment, whoever he is, he *is* your husband already, as it’s been declared by the highest authority in the universe, and it will be made clear to you who he is when the time is right. Just trust.

Crazy amazing, right? Thank you Holy Spirit for using Kingston to speak such truth that’s applicable for every single woman out there. And in real life for the encouraging testimony of how he met his amazing wife Millie (Short version: Saw her at a wedding in Costa Rica, learned Spanish to woo her, did long distance for a few years and now they are married and in Hong Kong. <3 Long version: Hopefully he'll write this himself one day ... clearly he is great with words!)

The beautiful couple

Their wedding in Costa Rica

So as we start a new year and as there’s less than a week until Chinese New Year (prime time for Asian families to ask about your single / pregnant status aha) and a month until Valentine’s Day, I pray that no matter whether we’re single or married, we trust God will all our hearts and allow him to be the ultimate lover and satisfier of our souls. All the rest, he’s got it. He is worthy to be trusted.